Natalie, I know what it’s like. I’ve seen it played out a few zillion times. You’re waiting for that magical day when someone makes the connection and recognizes who you really are. Maybe they’ll first catch the sparkle in your eye. Or perhaps they’ll marvel at your insights and the depth of your spirit. Someone who will help you connect the dots, believe in yourself, and make sense of it all. Someone who will understand you, approve of you, and unhesitatingly give you a leg up so that life can pluck your ready, ripened self from the branch of magnificence. Ahhhhhhhhhhh… 

Well, I’m here to tell you, Natalie, your wait is over. That someone, is you.

Good thing you rock, 
    The Universe

So much easier than the days of … “so now what do I do? what in the world does she want?” 

Loving this….

In fact, even now, while I’m writing, the movie The Holiday is playing in the background. My favorite movies of all time all include Christmas in at least one scene … Meet Me in St. Louis, You’ve Got Mail, Family Stone, White Christmas, … See what I mean?

Really. I “heart” Christmas movies SO much that in our house, we literally watch Christmas movies all year long. 

Before you think I’m the only one over the edge, I’ll tell you that Ed loves them too (yes, I’m outing him!)… and now Reese.  In fact, her favorite movie is The Grinch (the one with Jim Carrey). She’s only 22 months old and acts out a scene before it even happens, and sings the Christmas songs along with Cindy Lou and the other Whos. (It’s super cute, just so ya know!)

This may seem a bit weird … heck, I thought that we were a bit odd myself. And, then I realized why Ed & I love Christmas movies so much. We both come from divorced families and we’ve both house-hopped every year from family to family to make sure that we got see everyone as equally as possible and pleased everyone around us. But, in these Christmas movies, they all have a warm and fuzzy family feel. Such community, support, love, friendship, fun, laughter, joy, and yes, I know they’re movies… But all the emotion, mood, feelings, and community is real to us – it’s what we’ve both always longed for. To have that without traveling to the point of exhaustion! 

So, this year, we’ve made a pact. We’re staying home for Christmas! Unlike the Kranks (in Christmas with the Kranks - LOL), we’re not skipping Christmas. No, we’re embracing it. We’re making Christmas just like those movies and creating our own community, joy, warmth and coziness!

And we’re not traveling.  I don’t think that’s selfish in a bad way. I think that it’s selfish in a good way. Knowing what’s important to us, honoring our own feelings, and celebrating the joy that this season should be about!  I know that our families are already a bit cranky with us over this proclamation, but maybe now they can understand why this is so important to us.

It’s just so hard to stay balanced when 2 people get married – both from divorced (and remarried) parents – so that instead of two families to visit at christmas, there are 4 sets of parents, and then another 3 sets of grandparents to visit. You do the math. It’s tiring just thinking about it. But, not this year.  We’ll still be able to love our families, it will just be with a little less travel, and a little more simplifying!  

Love and Light, 

Natalie

I decided to just throw caution to the wind and started painting. Not only was it incredibly fun, joy-filled, and relaxing, but it ended up feeling like quite a healing experience. One of my paintings even looks like an Angel kneeling as it prays. Who knows … anything is possible!

What do you love?

Love and Light,
Natalie

(Here are 2 of my paintings…)

Here are just a few pictures to share. You can see more on my Facebook profile here. 

Love and Light, 

Natalie

I really enjoy cooking. I’m very present while cooking. I savor the cutting, chopping, peeling, mixing, layering and enjoying of everything I cook. I even love to garden and see the beautiful foods I cook with growing in my own garden. It’s so rewarding and a great way to escape and relieve any stress and anxiety I may be feeling at the moment. 

Reese has even started “cooking” in her pretend kitchen and whips up delicious imaginary surprises in my bowls and has Ed & I taste and savor the flavors!  :)

So, after watching Julie and Julia last week, I decided to make a favorite of mine that they actually showed Julie making in her kitchen when deciding to do the “project” – bruschetta!! 

Here’s how I make mine :: 

fresh organic heirloom tomatoes – chopped
fresh organic red onion – chopped
fresh organic garlic – diced
fresh basil leaves – chopped
organic extra virgin olive oil
organic balsamic vinegar
kosher salt
fresh ground pepper 

….mix it all together (to taste – I don’t know the measurements) 

 and I serve it on toasted fresh Italian bread (that I buy from our local bakery)

YUM! Here’s a picture … enjoy!!

Honestly, I didn’t know much about Julia Child. I was very young when she was on TV regularly – I saw her from time to time, but I did not yet have a love for cooking. So, I didn’t realize what a wonderful and interesting woman she was and with so much confidence and determination. I really enjoyed learning about her. I guess I’d like to think that I possess those same qualities too – of course I have my “moments” of doubt, weakness and fear too … but I’d really like to think that I can be more like Julia than “the other”! 

One of the most awesome parts of the movie was being able to see who Julia was beyond the cooking show. (I plan on getting her book to learn and experience even more Julia!) And I seriously almost fell out of my chair during the movie when she exclaimed, “It’s as hot as a hard cock!” I really just about lost it in the theater. In fact, I was STILL laughing about it 5 minutes later. (I’m sure that others in the theater really appreciated that too.) I just cannot imagine my own Grandmama, Mema or step-grandmother saying something like that. (Ed’s Nanny was a different story!) I’m laughing all over again right now just remembering that scene as I share it with you. It was so freakin’ funny to me!!

And Julie… I sooooo can related to her too. She started out this Julie-Julia project because she was passionate about cooking and pretty much only cooking (and writing) and felt lost in her life otherwise. Julie was frustrated, depressed, and longing for something more…but what? (sound familiar – yeah, that’s why I love her too!)

With Julie’s passion, drive and excitement (plus a few other feelings I’m sure), this project was destined to be a success for her. From what I’ve also learned as of late, when you become unattached to the outcome of things like making money, becoming a huge success, and the like, the journey is always so much more enjoyable. After all, you’ll just enjoy the ride as opposed to pushing the triumph at the end.

Can you tell how MUCH I love this movie?? I can’t WAIT to see it again…. woo-hoo!! Here’s the trailer so you can see just a little of why I “heart” it so much!!

He was an influence, not because he forced his opinions, beliefs, religion or anything else on me. Actually, it was the opposite. He impacted my life because he “was”. Because he knew … and knows still today … how to love, how to be, how to dream, and how to be open….to all that is.

As a child, Grandaddy would always say to me, “you’re the sweetest one.” Well, of course, as a child (well let’s be honest, I’m still VERY gullible…or maybe I just WANT to believe), I believed pretty much anything. I thought that I was the ONLY sweetest one. I was IT … to my Grandaddy.

When Grandaddy needed me to get something for him, do something for him, or bring him something, he’d always say “You’re the Sweetest One” when I came back….

You see, my parents divorced before I was 2 years old, so I was raised by more than 2 parents. I was raised also by 2 sets of grandparents. And they were amazing. 

I grew up next door to my mother’s parents until I was about 11 … and they always treated me like another daughter. 

Every Sunday, I sat next to Grandaddy in church. On the way to church, we walked hand-in-hand (like a movie) and then every Sunday I’d fall asleep, resting my head on his shoulder and listening to him sing the tunes…

Grandaddy built me my dream tree-house in their backyard. It wasn’t the pre-fab, super posh tree or play houses like those you see now on Jon and Kate plus 8, but as far as I was concerned … it was a magical fairy-land. It was simply constructed by some extra 2×4′s and an old broom that my Grandmama had cast off. All I can say was that it was heaven. 

Barbie and I had many an extraordinary day in that dream house. We went on adventures…Imagined the extraordinary…and Dreamed only the BEST for my future! It was the best childhood I could have ever wanted … and none of it included technology. None of it. 

Grandaddy taught me to ride my bike. He’d push me and hold on as I rode. And then one day … he let go… and I fell. And started to cry. 

Grandaddy started running towards me to pick me up and comfort me – that’s the first time I saw him run. I died laughing and it filled my heart. I was no longer afraid to ride my bike. It was awesome!!

And then one day, there was a knock at the back door….

It was an old man. Shaking, obviously from alcoholism. He needed a drink. And … he was black. Now in this town where I grew up, there was still a label on black men – alcoholics, and begging for money. 

I had answered the door. And, I’m embarrassed to admit, I judged him. He asked for my Grandaddy – he asked – “is Mr. George home?” and of course I said “yes” and asked him to wait a moment. I got my Grandaddy and brought him to the back door. He spoke to the gentleman and he asked my Grandaddy for money … and Grandaddy gave it to him willingly. I distinctly remember Grandaddy saying to him, “You take care of yourself, you here?” … and that was it.

When we went back inside, I said, “Grandaddy, why did you give him that money? Don’t you know that he’ll just go get drunk off it?” And I remember something along the lines of him saying, “Natalie, it’s not my place to know what he’ll do with that money. It’s just my place to give it and help him.” And I never judged another needy man – or woman – again.  

There were many more moments, like feeding the cows at the farm, and singing “I’ve been working on the railroad”, and more…but these are just a few favorites…

As I grew older, I realized I was not the only “sweetest one”. Grandaddy said that to anyone who helped him out. It was his way of making you feel really special and saying thank you all in one…….

But, really … I know that the TRUTH is that he really does believe that we’re all “the sweetest one”. But, I have a secret. 

Grandaddy, YOU’RE the Sweetest One….

Grandmama always treated me like her third daughter. In fact, at both my Mom’s second marriage and my Aunt Gina’s marriage, most people (obviously not family or really close friends) assumed I was the youngest sister. She always instilled in me a form of feminism unlike that of most women of her era. 

Grandmama believed that women could do anything and be anything they dreamed of. She even has a Master’s degree from the 50′s and planned on pursuing a PhD, except that she could not get one locally after totally falling in love with her first daughter (my Mama). 

She put her mind to things and achieved them on her own terms – whether or not her generation “approved”. 

Grandmama was approached to be an Operatic singer, but declined…because she felt like her family needed her. Like they came first. I think that’s why she instilled in me that drive and that support that it was okay…no PERFECT … DIVINE… to do what I dreamed of. Not because I was selfish or consumed, but because I was pursuing my God-given gifts… 

I remember many play-dates of “hide and seek” when she would actually climb under the bed with me (sooooooo not expected!), singing in the studio together, playing music…she on the piano and me on my flute, and special story time before bed. To this day, Grandmama STILL does the BEST, “three little pigs” I’ve ever heard!! 

And, thank you Grandmama, for imparting not only your wisdom, but your love, your kindness, your heart, your warmth, your drive, your determination, your focus, and your beautiful voice upon me (and many, many others). 

I love you, Grandmama, my Songbird Angel.  My soul’s song … my love and inspiration.

My “Mind Movie”…also known as my “dream vision” is dedicated to you Grandmama!! (…The music is my Grandmother singing with a choir in college…Enjoy!)

She is a baby – well a toddler. But her eyes…her eyes are the eyes of a soul of 1,000+ years. She is my teacher. She is my inspiration. She is my guide. She is my angel. She has ignited something in Ed and in me that we didn’t even know existed…our gifts from God. Our healing abilities. Our life purposes. Our soul’s songs.

(Warning :: this is woo-woo to many, but this is our life and this is our truth. )

Reese is a Crystal Child. Ed and I are Indigo Children.

Yeah, at the beginning of these gifts being opened in our own lives, it scared the shit out of us. But now, it’s a daily conversation in our household. It just is. 

We have these gifts that we still don’t understand, but we embrace them and we love them. These gifts show up in our lives – they manifest in our lives every single day. We have visions…hits…intuitive feelings…that we just can’t explain. And then they happen. And then we move our feet. And follow God. And feel the love that is this life. 

I realize that for those of you who may be in the boat I was in a year ago, hell, even 6 months ago … you may not even know what in the world a Crystal Child or an Indigo Child is.

Don’t freak out…but, watch these videos if you want to know more…. (or just Google it!)

You  may not want to go along with my journey anymore, but that’s okay. I’m just sharing my journey.

Sometimes it blows my mind, just like it may blow yours. All I have to say is … if it feels right, if it feels like home, … maybe it’s the truth. Just maybe. Open your mind to the possibilities. 

A lot of people think that God hasn’t spoken to anyone in about 2,000 years (since about the time of Jesus) … why? Did God just close up shop? Why would God chose to speak to a handful of people in the Bible or other Sacred books, and then just throw in the towel? No, He speaks to us all now….

That’s what Ed, Reese and I experience daily.

This is my journey. This is my story.

My whole life, I’ve been told that I’m like an old soul. That I have a huge heart …. maybe that’s because I’m here to help heal us all, including myself. All I want to say is that I love you and that we are all here to share all that Is.

“I am that, I am.” (as God said to Moses through the burning bush)

Love and Light, 
Natalie